Five years of marriage is something not to really brag out loud. Old wives would say that ours has still a loooong way to go and we should...
5 Best Practices Of A Healthy Marriage
I openly admit it that my marriage is never close to perfection. Perfection? Does it even exist? (Gasps). But with how more and more relationships are falling apart amidst efforts to keep it intact, I am damn thankful (hashtag blessed) for what I have that I can grab a mic any moment from now and sing Seasons Of Love (Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes..How do you measure a year?...)
No, I am not an expert in relationships and marriage. I have no Ph.D. to start with. I'm a newbie in this program. Despite with my not-so-expert profile, I'd be happy to share few things--great practices--that kept these F.I.V.E years a blissful one even with two toddlers who mostly takes away a lot of our much-needed husband-and-wife time.
We schedule that THING. Okay, sex. No, it's not a typo, hon. We are fond of scheduling sex instead of that spontaneous bed scenes. Our hands are way too full (day job, house chores, blogging, kids and more) that scheduling it is a must to still get intimately connected. Wait. Was that you? I can hear your laugh all the way here and some WTFs, but hey, it worked well for us. Hah!
By the time you have kids joining your budding family, sex slowly gets kicked into the cupboard unnoticeably (poor thing). Instead, you prefer and want more Zzzz time than lovemaking. And when you're not sexually available for your partner, the rest becomes too awful to think. You take fault on each other for neglecting your human needs, desires and often finds that missing pleasure through casual flirting with other woman/man. Hence, the rise of infidelity in this society--just because you reward your worn body with a good sleep rather than sex.
I mean seriously, if you can't make it on a regular basis because you're too damn tired and too preoccupied with tasks to do 50 Shades of Grey-ish, then for crying out loud schedule it. It won't make you less in love with each other
We listen to each other. Honestly, I am more of the talker between me and my husband; but when he starts to pick up few lines, I listen, comprehend and react. Then it evolves to an animated chat, exchange of views that ends with smiles and/or laughs. But it's not all giggles and laughter. This practice will be best tested when you are in a heated argument and thankfully we still manage to listen to each other instead of spitting out harsh words.
When you opt to listen instead of talking back to assert that you are on the right side of an argument, you give yourself a chance to calm down and think rationally. This lessens the chances of uttering hurtful and destructive words which leave direct damage on every relationship. So, lend your ears when one of you talks.
We eat together. Good stories are best shared on the dining table and even greater when you share it with your partner. A regular 15-20 minutes weekend breakfast would usually take us around 40 minutes to an hour to finish up.
There's more talking happening around when we sit together for a meal instead of simply stocking up our intestines with food to digest. Yeah I know, a lot of things could have been accomplished instead within that time (laundry, dishes, blog post, etc.) but a time well-spent with your partner is never a wasted one. That's the cool part about it.
We give and take. Being married is not about "I deserve more 'cause I work harder" or "More for me 'cause I'm a worn out stay-at-home-mom" battle cry. A give and take should resonate within your home. It took me quite a while to get the hang of this for I always wanted more and more from him and I feel like he's having more "manly time" than me.
Then I realized one day while dong the laundry (all thanks to that pile of laundry) that this marriage thing shouldn't be on who give more and give up less. There should be a fair compromise.
So whenever he informs me that he has a friendly basketball game with his officemates on a Saturday, I negotiate with him for a late wake-up call on Sunday which means he does the breakfast preparation while I curl up in bed with little feet all over my face. But, it's still a win-win situation for us.
We pray. We both glorify Him and believes that what this marriage needs above all is a mightier form of life that can hold and bind this covenant stronger than a piece of signed paper recognized by human laws.
Putting God in the center of our marriage brings; fortitude for this challenging journey, unconditional love for each other and for our kids, wisdom to understand things beyond its surface and tranquility amidst world chaos that has been breaking other families apart.
We are just humans and there are things that are simply beyond our control. The moment we entrusted this all to Him, we feel reassured that everything's going to be alright at its own time. There were times that we both have been challenged with our health and characters but never did we feel that we were alone. Right help always comes at the right time. And it could only be His doings.
I know that this marriage will be tested and pounded but I believe this will come out strong and last long for He is always there.
Are you married for more than five years? What are your best practices that keep marriage still tolerable, er, a blissful one? Leave us with your thoughts on the comment section below.