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"Mama, I want a baby sister," said my 4-year old daughter to a dumbfounded mother who breastfeeds a  2-year old son. I was ...

When Child No.1 Asks For A Child No.3

By 8:25:00 AM , ,

Mom and Daughter

"Mama, I want a baby sister," said my 4-year old daughter to a dumbfounded mother who breastfeeds a  2-year old son.

I was startled,definitely caught off guard and terribly utterless. This little tyke surely knows nothing; what I need to go through just to pick up small pieces of me after I gave birth to her and then her little brother. I've had a roller coaster battle with myself - pregnancy woes, postpartum depressions and the usual daily struggles of every mother.

Asking for another family member is not as easy as asking a new doll from the toy store which we can pay at the check-out counter, place in a shopping bag and unwrap at home; joining the rest of the gang in the toy box(es) which I have learned to consider as "clutter".

No honey, that's not how things work. It is not as easy as you think it is.

Mama had to experience unwanted body changes (which mostly hasn't recovered to its original state - HELLO F-L-A-B), from sore tatas, larger nostrils, to countless bathroom trips and a bunch of discomforts. And never would I forget the near-death labor pain which I vehemently swore not to experience ever again; but then I did, like most of the moms out there who had their second child. For the second time, I swore not to do it again.

But I'm not sure if I can keep that promise. Having baby no.3 is not as bad as eating Cheetos and doughnut for dinner. I came from a small family and having only one sibling to fight, play, laugh, cry and dream with is sometimes boring, close to no fun at all. Although, it also means that I have my undivided sibling love all to my brother, which better explains how I have been sooooo damn forgiving with him.

Still, I can't grant you yet your desire for another sibling to hang around with at home.

You may have whined, a lot of times, on your brother's inability to play dressing up with your dolls; or the fact that he can't form yet a recognizable play-doh cake you will marvel at, but surely dear, he can rock a "Wheels on the Bus" song number with you while he gives justice being your pet dog (and he does it animatedly) during one of your pretend plays. Did you hear him complain? No.

Having another baby joining our brood would mean everything will be divided into three's. From your favorite jell-O, Yakult drink and cookies - you'll have to share it with the other two and even mama's time. I don't want you to battle with your siblings just to get precious minutes from me. I want to be that mom who'll turn her head right away when you call me to show off your charming scribbles and drawings; and beam proudly at you when you hand me over your notebook with gold stars.

I am happy and okay with you two, hon.

Mama and Papa would still need to work their asses off to ensure you'll have a brighter and happier life ahead of you. We want you to enjoy each other's company and be a best friend for each other. Maybe, and just maybe, if mama is financially secure, emotionally stable and has been a better mom than I was yesterday, then we can grant your wish.

But for now, it has to be a big, fat- NO. If you're bored having a brother, then look back and think of the days that you wish you have someone to play with. Think how your life would be when your only fun buddy is mama who might not be able to be there for you every time you want to be entertained; because of excuses like the kitchen is a mess, laundry is waiting, house is a total disaster and food preparation takes longer.

You've got to love what you have, dear. So, the next time you ask for a baby sister,..hush hush...go get your coloring book and be creatively mad with your Crayolas.


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