In this world now where negativity is easily spread through the power of social media channels, it's hard not to get drawn and d...
5 Mistakes That Parents Do Online (And What To Do Instead)
And what hurts most is that instead of being connected through these cyber friendships, it slowly is ripping us apart. Pretty true especially to parents who hangs out online in hope of getting a pat on the back with fellow moms/dads. But in return, some of us gets nasty and humiliating comments instead.
Have you been the judgmental mama when a mom posted online that she's formula feeding her little one? Or did you raise an eyebrow when a mom posted that her 4-year-old is not potty trained yet? Or worse, did you just blew straight up to a parent's face that he/she clearly doesn't know what parenting is?
C'mon! Do we really need to act like this?
If you're a parent, read on and see if you've been doing these mistakes that most parents do online and what you should do instead to steer clear from negativity.
"She's doing it all wrong!"
"Can't believe she'd really let her kids eat those crap."
Stop! It doesn't mean that since you're in cyberspace you can just type away anything you want on your keyboard and share your thoughts to the world. Yes, you can celebrate your state-given freedom of expression but inflicting wound on others while practicing your so-called right is totally not cool! Oh yes!
If you have nothing good to say, then scroll down! Easy peasy. Never forget to be kind ALWAYS even if there's a thin borderline between you and the rest of the world.
Putting a fellow parent to be ridiculed by others, too, won't make you a better one. So the next time you see a parent posting a Cheetos for dinner captioned-photo, scroll down to the bottom of your news feed because it's their family and kids and we surely have different parenting styles.
We're not cut out on the same cookie cutter, so keep your nose off on what others are saying/posting especially if it deviates with your "standards".
2. Comparing your lives basing on what you see online
"I wish our family is as crazy fun like them."
"I'd trade anything to have a life like that!"
Not all you see on social media are #real. True, maybe your friend and her husband's profile photo could be swooning but you didn't probably know that they had a terrible fight a night before that and they simply posed to fake it all when in front of their kids.
Remember that there are always two sides of a coin and what simply caught your eye on these social media platforms are only the happy and shiny ones. Yeah, it could be fascinating having someone to look up to or admire for a dash of inspiration but if you're already obsessed with comparing and strictly patterning your life like theirs, then you're in big trouble, mate!
Yours is unique! And believe me, I was in that similar situation before and it didn't do me any good.at.all. I was cranky and frustrated that my home was filled with all the negative vibes. And you wouldn't dare want that, right?
Instead, appreciate what you have (family, friends, etc.) and stop trying to be like someone else. You'll have your own set of adventures with your family and your very own story to tell. Let it not be a copy paste tell-all-tale.
Create your own moments!
3. Giving out unsolicited advice
"You could have done this X just like what I did with my Y...."
"I understand where you're coming from. If I were you, I could have X and Y this..."
We might be experts in our own little ways but giving out unsolicited advice to a fellow parent is definitely not a YAY, my friend. Let us be sensitive on how would your friend feel when you butt in while she is in the middle of her sad long story and you let out an advice. Your intentions maybe all good, but sometimes it's better to just listen to them and wait for their cues.
They want someone to just listen or know their story so they can free up some space in their troubled soul. It doesn't necessarily follow that when someone opens up how bad her day is, you jumped in right away with a series of advice under your belt, and worst, you rub it in that it totally worked for you.That's like saying she's definitely a mess.
Try to position your words and perhaps, get away with the "If I were you" and all the "I". It should be all about her. Remember, wait for her "help me cues" and listen intently.
4. Flooding the news feeds
While it's indeed necessary to update your friends and family (especially when you don't see often) on how's your family life progressing, it's rather outrageously annoying when you post almost every.single.hour of the day.
I know you simply can't contain the feeling but hey mommy, would it be more intimate and memorable if you keep those oh-la-la moments within your house's walls?
Two to three Facebook posts (okay, fine, 4) a day is personally fine with me but if you go over the board, then I wouldn't think twice of blocking your posts on my news feed unless I have a certain liking of your photos. If you're taking too many photos for a single activity, then please save yourself by creating an album or post them up all at once.
Don't make your social media your hourly diary. It's honestly annoying. And instead of winning friends, you're more likely to get unfriended/unfollowed because you're posts are crowding and competing our little online space. Instead, highlight a photo or two on something's interesting or a winning moment of your life. For parents, a relevant product that's helpful in this parenting chaos would be awesome. If uploading tons of photos, again, keep it organized thru an album.
5. Constant ranting
"I 'm totally mad on how the whole thing went through. It's pissing me off and $%*^@#+ blah blah blah..."
"I hate people who doesn't give a @$&!*$#? on what you do. Really??? You want to end this? Fine!!!! Get your @$$ kicked blah blah blah..."
Hah! During my younger years (oh well) I used to rant and swear on my post just to vent it out. Then I asked myself, is it really helpful? Is ranting online really the ethical thing to do? Am I not inviting nosy people instead who see through my vulnerable times? Then so on and on.
And it hit me. I still want to enjoy that privacy and keep my wall in positive tone.
Ranting online is a complete waste of energy. Do you think people out there really do care if you're stuck on traffic for 5 hours? Or missed your favorite brand's online big sale promo? It's no use wasting hate words online especially when you're a parent. You know your days are tougher than that but you were strong enough not to blast them all online. It's actually a matter of disciplining yourself, as well.
Why not treat a negative one with a positive? Instead, redirect your fury to an activity that will calm you down and destress. Have you tried journaling it on a piece of paper? How about chaneling it through arts and crafts? Or go for a relaxing music and a good read. Those are pretty helpful ways to cut out your urge to vent it out on Facebook. The world is already full of negativity, so don't go start barking in!
As parents, we are hustling everyday and surviving every single day with a bam! Spending time online to get a quick breather shouldn't be a bad experience for anyone. Let's all practice the good ones and with consistency they will bear good fruits. Share some positive vibes and let these modern ways of friendship be as strong as the traditional ones!
Did I miss a point? Share your thoughts below. Do you want to comment on this post? Keep it cool. :) This blog welcomes kind and friendly interaction. ;)