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This has been a common problem with couples in several years of marriage. I've read an article by Dennis Prager, " When a Wo...

Can Wives Deny Their Husbands' Sex Request?

By 8:49:00 PM ,

This has been a common problem with couples in several years of marriage. I've read an article by Dennis Prager, "When a Woman Isn't in the Mood". A really great article which I realized very true in some ways.

I've heard a lot of my friends are also having the same problem--when their wives deny to have sex with them. So I want to bring this up for all couples out there. Can wives deny their husbands' sex request?

He cited that,

"It is an axiom of contemporary marital life that if a wife is not in the mood, she need not have sex with her husband. Here are some arguments why a woman who loves her husband might want to rethink this axiom.

First, women need to recognize how a man understands a wife’s refusal to have sex with him: A husband knows that his wife loves him first and foremost by her willingness to give her body to him. This is rarely the case for women. Few women know their husband loves them because he gives her his body (the idea sounds almost funny). This is, therefore, usually a revelation to a woman. Many women think men’s natures are similar to theirs, and this is so different from a woman’s nature, that few women know this about men unless told about it.

What would your husband feel if you decline his request? So first, he will be hurt, then sad, then angry, then quiet. "Then most men will never tell their wives why they become quiet or distant". 

Well, their wives will just realize it. Some wives will find it in an instant, some will take a few weeks before they realize what really is going on.

Most men don't just feel talking when they are hurt, sad, or angry. They just keep it to their selves.

"They are often made to feel ashamed of their male sexual nature, and they are humiliated (indeed emasculated) by feeling that they are reduced to having to beg for sex."

He explains 5 common reactions of women when they hear this, and here's two of them.

1. You have to be kidding. That certainly isn't my way of knowing if he loves me. There have to be deeper ways than sex for me to show my husband that I love him.

The most common female reaction to hearing about men's sexual nature is incredulity, often followed by denial. These are entirely understandable reactions given how profoundly different — and how seemingly more primitive — men's sexual nature is compared to women's.

Incredulity is certainly the reaction most women have when first being told that a man knows he is loved when his wife gives him her body. The idea that the man she is married to, let alone a man whose intelligence she respects, will to any serious extent measure her love of him by such a carnal yardstick strikes many women as absurd and even objectionable.

But the question that should matter to a woman who loves her man is not whether this proposition speaks poorly or well of male nature. It is whether it is true. And it is true beyond anything she can imagine. A woman who often deprives her husband of her body is guaranteed to injure him and to injure the marriage — no matter what her female friends say, no matter what a sympathetic therapist says, and no matter what her man says.

(Very few men will confess to the amount of hurt and eventual anger they experience when repeatedly denied sex).

Of course, there are times when a man must simply refrain from initiating sex out of concern for his wife's physical or emotional condition. And then there are men for whom sex rarely has anything to do with making love or whose frequency of demands are excessive. (What “excessive” means ought to be determined by the couple before the refusals begin, or continue.) But the fact remains: Your man knows you love him by your willingness to give him your body.

Sex is not just giving pleasure to someone. This is also the time you make love, show love with your partner. So how can it be tiring to make love with someone you love? 

Denying a request from your husband is painful than you ever think it is.

2. If this is true, men really are animals.

Correct. Compared to most women's sexual nature, men's sexual nature is far closer to that of animals. So what? That is the way he is made. Blame God and nature. Telling your husband to control it is a fine idea. But he already does. Every man who is sexually faithful to his wife already engages in daily heroic self-control. He has married knowing he will have to deny his sexual nature's desire for variety for the rest of his life. To ask that he also regularly deny himself sex with the one woman in the world with whom he is permitted sex is asking far too much. Deny him enough times and he may try to fill this need with another woman. If he is too moral to ever do that, he will match your sexual withdrawal with emotional and other forms of withdrawal.

Of course, we don't blame God for who we are. But instead, we are glad that we had been given a chance to live in this world freely.

Sometimes you just have to understand each other's needs if you want your relationship to last a lifetime.

Then he concluded,

I conclude Part I with this clarification: Everything written here applies under two conditions: 1. The woman is married to a good man. 2. She wants him to be a happy husband. If either condition is not present, nothing written here matters. But if you are a woman who loves your husband, what is written here can be the most important thing you will read concerning your marriage. Because chances are the man you love won't tell you.

This what makes sex sacred. This is only for couples who really love each other. By means of making love, you two also acknowledges that marital sex is also an obligation to fulfill by both parties.

You are the only person in this world that your husband permitted to have sex with. What do you think he would feel if you decline a request? What would be his other alternatives? You should think twice before you decline a request over and over again.

You can read the full article here: Part 1 and Part 2.

Women usually think that they are not obliged to do sex with their husband. Most educated women think that they have all the right to decline a request since they believe that women are equally created with men.

Didn't you realize that men don't really feel like working every single day? But they do it. They wake up every day and go to work even if they don't like it. Similarly, women should feel the same way in having sex with their husband.

Some women think that they are already a sex slave just by granting a request from their husband even when they're not in the mood.

Common reasons for wives to deny their husband with sex.

1. I'm not in the mood.

This reason is already explained by Dennis Prager. That mood should not be a reason not to have sex with your husband. You may read "When a Woman Isn't in the Mood"

2. I'm tired.

Don't you think your husband is not tired from work? When he travels several hours from home even he didn't feel like working. What is tiring to make love with your husband?

3. I did not take a shower.

A bit funny reason. I'm sure your husband don't really mind not taking a shower. But if you don't feel to have sex because you did not take a shower, then why not take a shower first?

4. I have a work to finish.

I'm sure your work is not that urgent to decline your husband's request. You can finish your work after you make love with your husband. It isn't too difficult you know.

Men would release their stress through sex. And would really find a way to release it. It's how men are created, can't argue with that.

Some men are not that too expressive, but then express their selves through this way. Stopping them may seriously injure them inside without saying anything. Think about it. 

To all the wives out there, I think what you will worry most if your husband will no longer request sex with you. In this case, probably he found someone else or something else that can fulfill this satisfaction.

I would also like to reiterate that these arguments only apply to wives married to a good husband which they truly love and want to make him a happy husband.

Share us your thoughts down below. And keep it a friendly discussion. Thank you!

Source: WinteryKnight, Townhall, Townhall - P2


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